Title: How Could You?
Summary: OotP: How could they ask me that question?
Molly has been looking at me with that motherly “I caught you with your hand in the biscuit tin” look the whole meeting. I should have gotten used to it by now. Tonks looks at me the same way, so does Minerva. They all do. All the time. I search my memory what it might have been today.
No, I'm not drunk. I have shaved. My clothes are not torn, at least not to my knowledge. I haven't taught the kids any nasty little hex to use on the Malfoy boy. Has Padfoot left a half-gnawed bone on the sofa in the drawing room? No!
Now they exchange looks. Oh, Hestia and Emmeline are also involved. How very nice. The others avoid my questioning look. Thanks for supporting me, guys. I always knew I can rely on you.
The room is empty except for Molly and Minerva. My old teacher and the Order's mother hen. Honestly, have a look at the portrait in the hall. I was raised by Walpurga Black. Do you really think you can scare me?
“Sirius… there's something that we all like to know,” Molly starts.
“We've been wondering about that for quite a while,” Minerva continues reproachfully. “We all remember you as boys. We remember how close you were.”
A pause that gives me time to wonder what's next.
“We always thought you never cared about it...” If they take turns with every other sentence, this can take a long time. “I always believed you cared for him, trusted him, were ready to stand up for him against anyone who...”
“… against anyone who would dare to look at him the wrong way for him being a werewolf.”
I admit I have no idea what they're up to. What makes them doubt I am Remus' friend?
“ How could you have believed that Remus was the traitor? How could you have thought that he had joined Voldemort?”
“Has he sent you to ask me?” The question slipped before I can stop it. It must have been the right spell to summon two harpies. “Who says I did?” I whisper. They don't hear that, of course. When has anyone ever listened to my feelings or cared about them?
“Of course, he hasn't! He always defends you, finds excuses for you, says you only draw logical conclusions. We want to know. Do you have any idea how hurt he must have been, still is? Not to be trusted by those he considered his friends?”
I want to yell back. I want to run out, before I yell back. I feel sick, choking… not to be trusted by those I consider my friends.
I clench my fists, force myself to appear calm. My eyes meet theirs. They don't stop with the accusations, all those declarations of how cruel and unfair I was. How one could treat a friend like that.
“Have you asked him the same question about me? Have you asked yourself that question?”
- Current Mood: cynical
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- Current Mood: annoyed